Grace Like an Avalanche
Hi friends. Sorry it's been a while. Things have gotten pretty buys around here and I haven't had time to sit and write.
One of those things included taking a trip to Pennsylvania to take about 20 dogs to a rescue up there! I went with my sister-in-law and we had tons of fun. We left Friday afternoon, got there Saturday morning and then drove back and were home Sunday at midnight. It was a very tiresome trip, but fun nonetheless. Check out the video below to see highlights!
So, work has obviously been very busy and so has life. But, I won't dwell on that. In fact, I'd love to sit here and talk to you all about grace. Specifically, God's grace for us.
A little over a week ago, I was at my small group and we've been discussing Peter and how we can relate to him in our lives. It's already been really eye opening and I'm loving every minute of it. I've even found myself reading more about Peter outside of the Bible and learning about who he was and what he did.
We mainly talked about what we as followers of Jesus seek in our relationship with Jesus. A loaded question, right? For some reason, I kept coming back to the words, "I want to live". And I had no earthly idea what that meant. So, I pushed it to the side and went about my week. I did the trip to Pennsylvania when I got back at midnight Sunday morning, no matter how much I wanted to sleep the day away, I pushed myself to get up and go to church.
Church in itself was uneventful. I felt refreshed by it and knew I had made the right choice to go that morning. It was something I desperately needed. Anyway, fast forward to Monday...
My small group leader texted us saying that our small group would be a little different the next night and asked us to really think about "what we seek with Jesus". Once again, the words "to live" came back at me and I still had no idea what I meant by that.
That night, I was going through my computer trying to clean out my drive so I had more space for pictures and other documents when I came across a folder with no title. I opened it and found a lot of things from a very dark place in my life. I'll save you the details, but it was comprised of about ten different stories and a couple drawings that came from the dark depths of my mind. I had completed most of these things exactly five years ago to this day.
At that moment, I was drawn to my knees in tears. I finally understood those words that had been in the back of my mind all week.
"I want to live."
I am pretty open about my battle with depression and anxiety. If you have a question, I willingly answer, no matter how dark that answer may be. This is a part of my story and I'm not going to hide it from people. My story is how I came to know Jesus on a deeper and more spiritual level than ever before.
I don't tell people this story much, but exactly five years ago, I climbed a mountain at night. I was done with all the lies and fakeness from so-called friends. I was lost and confused about my relationship with Christ. I hadn't been attending church regularly. And I was really just completely over it all. I ended up on the top of this mountain, sobbing and just crying out to Jesus.
"Why? Why me?"
I remember someone sitting next to me and talking to me. I remember discussing my problems and worries and burdens. I remember the person being gentle and kind and such a great listener. And when I was finished talking, all he said was "You need to live, Kaitlyn. Live for all those who struggle like you. Live for your family who loves you. Live for those people you have yet to meet. And especially, live for you."
Then he was gone. To this day, I am convinced Jesus came to my rescue that night. Nobody else knew I was up there and the amount of peace I felt after he left was overwhelming. I remember running back down the mountain, desperate to get to my Bible and my journal. I remember falling down and scraping my leg in three distinct places. Those scars on my leg are the few things that convince me that it wasn't a dream. I was saved that night from the darkness of my mind...from the clutches of Satan himself.
Five years later and all I can say is "Thank you Jesus".
You see, God's grace is always overflowing. It is like an avalanche coming down over us. I can't imagine where I would be without His all sufficient love and grace for me. God has such a great purpose for me...for all of us really...and it's by His grace that we are able to live each and every day as we do.
He sent His one and only son to die for our sins. To die the most gruesome and humiliating death anyone could've had in that day and age. Just so that we could be forgiven and set free from our own sins. We don't deserve it one bit. We really don't. And we never worked for it, nor do we ever have to work for it. That's how amazing His grace is. It is there for us when we've finally decided to give up all our burdens to Him. His all sufficient sacrifice. So freely given.
Even then, we fall and we make mistakes. And yet, we wake up every morning with new grace ready to be given to us. No matter the mistakes we made, each day is a chance for us to start with a clean slate. His mercies are new every morning and I am always in awe by this.
I sit here listening to my Hillsong playlist and I am overwhelmed with emotion. I am so so loved. By my family. By my husband. By my husband's family. By my friends. By my small group from church. By Jesus. By God. And that is the reason I live today.
Matthew 28:19-20 is a verse I try to live by every day since that night. It reminds me to live, not only for myself, but for others who have yet to know and love Jesus as I do.
"Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
I am so thankful Jesus found my on my knees on that mountain. And I am so thankful every time He finds me on my knees now.
Never be afraid to reach out to people for help. They may not know the words to say, but having a strong presence in your corner can mean everything. And don't be scared to ask God for help either. It isn't selfish. As one of my friends in small group so greatly said, "We need to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first before we can help anyone else". Take care of yourself first, before worrying about anyone else. It's not selfish and it helps. A lot.
And if you ever need anyone to talk to, my ears are always open. If you personally know me, you can call me, text me, email me, pull me aside in public. Anything. And if you don't know me, shoot me a message on here with your email or number and I'd love to talk to you. You aren't alone in this.
đź’šKaitlyn
One of those things included taking a trip to Pennsylvania to take about 20 dogs to a rescue up there! I went with my sister-in-law and we had tons of fun. We left Friday afternoon, got there Saturday morning and then drove back and were home Sunday at midnight. It was a very tiresome trip, but fun nonetheless. Check out the video below to see highlights!
So, work has obviously been very busy and so has life. But, I won't dwell on that. In fact, I'd love to sit here and talk to you all about grace. Specifically, God's grace for us.
A little over a week ago, I was at my small group and we've been discussing Peter and how we can relate to him in our lives. It's already been really eye opening and I'm loving every minute of it. I've even found myself reading more about Peter outside of the Bible and learning about who he was and what he did.
We mainly talked about what we as followers of Jesus seek in our relationship with Jesus. A loaded question, right? For some reason, I kept coming back to the words, "I want to live". And I had no earthly idea what that meant. So, I pushed it to the side and went about my week. I did the trip to Pennsylvania when I got back at midnight Sunday morning, no matter how much I wanted to sleep the day away, I pushed myself to get up and go to church.
Church in itself was uneventful. I felt refreshed by it and knew I had made the right choice to go that morning. It was something I desperately needed. Anyway, fast forward to Monday...
My small group leader texted us saying that our small group would be a little different the next night and asked us to really think about "what we seek with Jesus". Once again, the words "to live" came back at me and I still had no idea what I meant by that.
That night, I was going through my computer trying to clean out my drive so I had more space for pictures and other documents when I came across a folder with no title. I opened it and found a lot of things from a very dark place in my life. I'll save you the details, but it was comprised of about ten different stories and a couple drawings that came from the dark depths of my mind. I had completed most of these things exactly five years ago to this day.
At that moment, I was drawn to my knees in tears. I finally understood those words that had been in the back of my mind all week.
"I want to live."
I am pretty open about my battle with depression and anxiety. If you have a question, I willingly answer, no matter how dark that answer may be. This is a part of my story and I'm not going to hide it from people. My story is how I came to know Jesus on a deeper and more spiritual level than ever before.
I don't tell people this story much, but exactly five years ago, I climbed a mountain at night. I was done with all the lies and fakeness from so-called friends. I was lost and confused about my relationship with Christ. I hadn't been attending church regularly. And I was really just completely over it all. I ended up on the top of this mountain, sobbing and just crying out to Jesus.
"Why? Why me?"
I remember someone sitting next to me and talking to me. I remember discussing my problems and worries and burdens. I remember the person being gentle and kind and such a great listener. And when I was finished talking, all he said was "You need to live, Kaitlyn. Live for all those who struggle like you. Live for your family who loves you. Live for those people you have yet to meet. And especially, live for you."
Then he was gone. To this day, I am convinced Jesus came to my rescue that night. Nobody else knew I was up there and the amount of peace I felt after he left was overwhelming. I remember running back down the mountain, desperate to get to my Bible and my journal. I remember falling down and scraping my leg in three distinct places. Those scars on my leg are the few things that convince me that it wasn't a dream. I was saved that night from the darkness of my mind...from the clutches of Satan himself.
Five years later and all I can say is "Thank you Jesus".
You see, God's grace is always overflowing. It is like an avalanche coming down over us. I can't imagine where I would be without His all sufficient love and grace for me. God has such a great purpose for me...for all of us really...and it's by His grace that we are able to live each and every day as we do.
He sent His one and only son to die for our sins. To die the most gruesome and humiliating death anyone could've had in that day and age. Just so that we could be forgiven and set free from our own sins. We don't deserve it one bit. We really don't. And we never worked for it, nor do we ever have to work for it. That's how amazing His grace is. It is there for us when we've finally decided to give up all our burdens to Him. His all sufficient sacrifice. So freely given.
Even then, we fall and we make mistakes. And yet, we wake up every morning with new grace ready to be given to us. No matter the mistakes we made, each day is a chance for us to start with a clean slate. His mercies are new every morning and I am always in awe by this.
I sit here listening to my Hillsong playlist and I am overwhelmed with emotion. I am so so loved. By my family. By my husband. By my husband's family. By my friends. By my small group from church. By Jesus. By God. And that is the reason I live today.
Matthew 28:19-20 is a verse I try to live by every day since that night. It reminds me to live, not only for myself, but for others who have yet to know and love Jesus as I do.
"Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
I am so thankful Jesus found my on my knees on that mountain. And I am so thankful every time He finds me on my knees now.
Never be afraid to reach out to people for help. They may not know the words to say, but having a strong presence in your corner can mean everything. And don't be scared to ask God for help either. It isn't selfish. As one of my friends in small group so greatly said, "We need to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first before we can help anyone else". Take care of yourself first, before worrying about anyone else. It's not selfish and it helps. A lot.
And if you ever need anyone to talk to, my ears are always open. If you personally know me, you can call me, text me, email me, pull me aside in public. Anything. And if you don't know me, shoot me a message on here with your email or number and I'd love to talk to you. You aren't alone in this.
đź’šKaitlyn
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