New Blog, Same Me

It's me. Ya girl. I'm back to blogging, but decided to revamp my blog a bit. Don't worry, though. If you want to look back at my posts on my old blog, I'll be keeping a link for it in the sidebar. I'll probably delete it later on once I add more posts to this one. I like to look back and see how far I've come and I'll be updating some of the more important posts on this blog.

So let's start with some updates:

I got married in October 2018. That's right, ya girl who posted all the time about being single and break up drama is now happily married.

I started a new job. My last post on the old blog talked about how stressed I was about my job at Chick-fil-a and how frustrated I was that I hadn't found a job in my field of study. Well, ya girl went and found one! I began working for the Lee County Humane Society in April of last year as an animal caretaker and I recently was promoted to Programs Assistant last month! This means I manage most social media accounts and our website. I also get to combine my passion for photography with my passion for animals by taking pictures for the shelter. This job has really changed the way I see the world and I am so happy to have been a part of this team! 

My husband and I added a four legged member to our family! Maya is a dachshund we rescued from the shelter when I first started working there. She has proven to be a wonderful addition to our family and I wouldn't trade her for the world. Here's a picture:

I also chopped off all my hair! And dyed it pink! My self confidence has sky rocketed just by doing something I'd never thought I'd do. Check out this updated selfie:

Now, here's why I decided to start blogging again...

For the past year or so, I've really struggled with my faith. Getting this new job meant I had to give up some/most of my Sundays to work. And then I ended up using work as an excuse every time even if I didn't have to work. And then, I just began putting my Bible readings and my devotionals and my praise music on the back burner. I began to get sidetracked by a lot of things like doubt, worry, anxiety, etc. I got too busy for God and that's one of the worst things anyone can do. 

I've just felt, recently, that God is pulling on my heart to be more...to do more. And I'm not quite sure what that means. When I came to church a couple of Sundays ago, the youth leader, Josh Hillyer talked to everyone about finding the group of people who push you in your faith and who encourage you daily. And I realized I haven't had that since high school when I left for college. (I tried my hardest to find something in college that fit me--small groups, bible studies, many, many different churches--but I felt like none were right. I got looked down on because of my piercings or my tattoos or whatever they could find that made me an outsider. I started to get angry with church because I felt like I wasn't accepted. Even when I came home to Embrace, I felt like nobody really cared who I was or what I was doing while away at school. I still felt like an outsider week after week.)

I hadn't had a real small group setting since high school. And I feel that has taken a toll on my relationship with God. So, I'm going to start this fall in finding a small group for myself so that I can have that group of people in my corner to lean on and to encourage me when times get tough. 

I've also started doing daily devotionals in the mornings to center my day around Christ. I'm listening to my praise playlists again on my drives to empower myself. I truly embody the idea that church isn't the only place for worship and prayer, but that you can do so in a car, in the grocery store, in a club, in a bar, anywhere, really! I find myself closer to God when I'm belting praise songs in my car than when I'm bowing my head on Sundays at church. 

I finally remembered this morning on my way to work, that blogging was always a release for me. If I was able to get what I was thinking on a blog post, I felt closer to God and in turn, was able to share my experiences with others. So, I decided to get back into it. I named this blog, "Eyes Wide Open" because I feel that we all need a reminder to pray with our eyes wide open. We need to be vulnerable to God in order for us to grow closer to Him. He can already see our deepest secrets, so why try to hide them? I also used the word somandla as the first part of my blog address. It means "the Almighty one" in Zulu. It's used multiple times in Chris Tomlin's world version of "How Great is Our God" which is one of my favorite songs at the moment. 

I hope that as I go through this life with its struggles and mountains and rainbows and praises, that someone who needs it, knows they aren't alone and that someone is here for them no matter who or where they are. 

I am going to try and post once a week, but please understand that life does get busy and I'll post when I can at times. Thank you for visiting my blog and I hope you come back in the future. 

💚Kaitlyn